Fantasy Football Cheat Sheet: Steal The Raiders

Fantasy football is a fickle mistress. Every year the landscape changes, and the difference between first place and last place in your league depends on how you react to the changing climate. As a helper, Fantasy Football Cheat Sheet will guide you through some of the finer points of fantasy this year. Have a question or topic about fantasy football you'd like to see addressed? Send it to turnoverbattle@gmail.com

The Oakland Raiders had the worst offense in all of football last season.

That statement isn't news to any fantasy football player, especially anyone that was unlucky enough to take LaMont Jordan with a first round pick last year. Accordingly, the Raiders' offensive skill players are being treated like lepers in fantasy drafts this season. LaMont Jordan is going on average at the 76th pick in ESPN drafts. Jerry Porter is going 125th. Daunte Culpepper is going undrafted. So are these wise choices by fantasy owners to avoid the Raiders?

No.

Fantasy owners need to examine the context of last season's offensive debacle in Oakland before they write off the entire team. There was a perfect storm of factors that contributed to making the Raiders offense one of the worst in league history;

Shell And Company: Art Shell and offensive coordinator Tom Walsh embarrassed themselves last season. They showed themselves to be relics from a by-gone era two men that did not understand how to run an offense in the modern NFL, much less a team. Joe Gibbs had the same problem in his first season with the Redskins, so he brought in Al Saunders to take over the offense. Shell and Walsh were not afforded the same grace as Gibbs however, and were canned by Al Davis after last year's 2-14 campaign. The fact that the Raiders were employing the most inept head coach and offensive coordinator combo in the NFL last season was the first factor as to why the Raiders were so awful last season. The second reason was also Shell's fault...

WR Drama: Art Shell and Jerry Porter did not hit it off last season in Oakland. So much so that Shell inexplicably benched Porter for almost the entirety of last season. In addition to the loss of Porter, Randy Moss decided to effectively quit eight games in the season. A good coach would have trouble dealing with the loss of two WRs during the season; for a bad coach like Shell, the losses were catastrophic.

LaMont's Injury: Last year was supposed to be the breakout year for LaMont Jordan. He was coming off a 2005 campaign that saw him score 11 TDs and have over 1500 yards of total offense. So how did Shell capatalize on Jordan's talent? By barely running him and never throwing the ball to a back that had 70 receptions and 563 yards receiving the year before. The misuse of Jordan by Shell was downright criminal, and Jordan's season ending injury in the 10th game of the season was probably a blessing. After Jordan went out, the ball carrying duties fell to Justin Fargas. That's a bad thing in case you are keeping score at home.

There were a number of other reasons for the Raiders ineptitude, but those were the main causes. They are also three areas where the Raiders have vastly improved this season. New head coach Lane Kiffin comes from USC with a reputation for running a high powered offense. His offenses at USC also utilized RBs in the receiving game. Kiffin finds himself with a big time weapon in LaMont Jordan, and unlike Shell Kiffin will not waste the chance to use Jordan in the passing game. Kiffin's offensive philosophy will certainly garner more points than Shell's did last year. Also working in the Raider's favor is the vast upgrades in offensive personnel that have been made during the off-season. Consider; at RB last season the Raiders had a hobbled Jordan a plus Justin Fargas. Now they have a healthy Jordan and have added Dominic Rhodes through free agency and drafted Michael Bush out of Louisville. At WR Porter (who had back to back 900 yard seasons before last year's benching) seems primed to step into the #1 role after years of playing second fiddle to Tim Brown, Jerry Rice, and Randy Moss. Joining him is Ronald Curry. At TE the Raiders used their 2nd round pick on the dangerous Zach Miller to replace the unproductive Courtney Anderson. At QB the Raiders have ditched the cancerous Aaron Brooks and have added both Daunte Culpepper and Josh McCown. Either of those new QBs signify an upgrade over last season. The Raiders did not stop there; they also signed one of the best FBs in the NFL, Justin Griffith, during the off-season. For the sake of comparison, lets see what these offseason moves look like take all together:

Lost:
Art Shell
QB Aaron Brooks
WR Randy Moss
TE Courtney Anderson

Gained:
Lane Kiffin
QB Josh McCown
QB Daunte Culpepper
RB Michael Bush
RB Dominic Rhodes
WR Jerry Porter
TE Zach Miller
FB Justin Griffith

The end result is obvious; the Raiders have signifigantly improved every single offense skill position since the end of last season. They also have a coach now that actually knows a thing or two about putting points on the board. The Raiders have also scored two offensive TDs in the first half of all three of their preseason games thus far. This isn't last year's Raiders team. In fact, it doesn't even resemble it one bit. So if you are looking for a steal in your fantasy draft, jump on Porter, Jordan, and Culpepper. They may not end up being studs, but they will end up being far more valuable than the price you will have to pay for them.

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From Out of Right Field: Michael Vick is Looking Like...Paris Hilton

I'm sure we all remember with much delight back in June when Paris Hilton was sentenced to 45 days in jail for mind-boggling driving charges. Barbara Walters did an interview with Paris while she was in jail and this is what she said:

“I’m not the same person I was...I used to act dumb. It was an act. I am 26 years old, and that act is no longer cute. It is not who I am, nor do I want to be that person for the young girls who looked up to me. I know now that I can make a difference, that I have the power to do that. I have been thinking that I want to do different things when I am out of here. I have become much more spiritual. God has given me this new chance....God has released me.”

Remember that? I thought so. It makes me laugh, too.

Anyway, the following was taken from a statement made by Michael Vick this morning after pleading guilty to dogfighting charges:

"I was ashamed and totally disappointed in myself....I want to apologize to all the young kids out there for my immature acts. What I did was very immature so that means I need to grow up....If I'm more disappointed in myself than anything its because of all the young people-young kids-that I've let down who look at Michael Vick as a role model....Through this situation I've found Jesus...I've turned my life over to God, I think thats the right thing to do as of right now."

Ok....seriously? Really? Does anybody actually believe this? I would be willing to suspend disbelief this one time and accept what Vick has to say; however, this is not (I repeat, NOT) the first time Vick has done something like this.

Do you remember this incident after a loss to the Saints at home in 2006? I'll give you a hint what's under that blur-its not a thumbs up that he's giving to those fans. After it happened, Vick had this to say: "I would have never thought that six years into my career I would ever do something like that. It will never happen again. Never....I don't know where it came from, but the people who know me know that's not me and that's not my character....I'm sorry and I apologize to all the young kids and to whoever saw me make that gesture. I just let my emotions get the best of me in that situation and it won't happen again." Oh Mike, I forgive you.

Or what about this time in 2004 when a rather expensive looking watch disappeared at the same time Vick went through an airport security checkpoint? In case you didn't hear, somebody with the Falcons apparently offered the owner of the watch a little something extra for his troubles if he kept Vick's name out of the police report. Vick refused to comment on the story. Nope, nothing shady here.

Or who can forget in early 2007 the secret compartment found in Vick's water bottle as he tried to make it through the Miami International Airport. Police said it had a "small amount of dark particulate and an odor consistent with marijuana"; Vick said it was for jewelry. Oh, I believe you Michael Vick. You wouldn't try to put anything else in there, especially after the time when two of your friends were arrested in Virginia for selling marijuana while driving your truck.

And how about that nasty Ron Mexico business which you settled out of court for an undisclosed sum of money. It was probably just easier for everyone that way. Not that you knowingly and intentionally gave herpes to anyone while going to clinics under the alias Ron Mexico to get treated. Such an upstanding citizen as yourself would never do something like that.

So, I guess what I am saying is, "Michael Vick, you are full of it."

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Fantasy Football Cheat Sheet: The Myth Of LJ

Fantasy football is a fickle mistress. Every year the landscape changes, and the difference between first place and last place in your league depends on how you react to the changing climate. As a helper, Fantasy Football Cheat Sheet will guide you through some of the finer points of fantasy this year. Have a question or topic about fantasy football you'd like to see addressed? Send it to turnoverbattle@gmail.com

So late this week I got an e-mail from reader AJ that I think illustrates an important divide in fantasy football circles at present. AJ wrote:

"I am a huge fantasy football fan. I play in multiple espn.com leagues and I am in another one that is coming up soon. The reason this one is important is because I am playing against my friends so all bragging rights are on the table. My question is about Larry Johnson. Is he a stretch at the third or fourth pick of my draft? His line isn't what it once was and the Chiefs passing game is horrible. This means there will be 8 guys in the box keying on Johnson. So is Johnson a better pick than someone like Willie Parker or Joseph Addai? If you have the time to respond to my question it would be greatly appreciated."

What the question boils down to is this; how risky is LJ this year? As AJ outlines above, there are three major reasons that have been posited as to why LJ should be worn down this year. He had too many carries last year, his offensive line is in a shambles, and the passing offense is terrible. To evaluate where LJ should go in your fantasy draft in light of these factors lets examine them each individually:

The 416 Carries: If someone is telling you that LJ is going to have a down year, this is most likely why. As ESPN.com notes on their fantasy projection of Johnson;

"Since 2000, seven NFL backs have lugged 370 carries or more in a season. Collectively, that group averaged roughly 726 yards and 8 TDs fewer in the follow-up season. Four of them missed at least four games".

Pretty scary numbers eh? The problem I have with those numbers though, are that they are completely devoid of context and are very limiting in their scope because they do not factor in receptions. Consider this; in terms of total offensive touches last season, LJ toted the rock 457 times last season. For comparison, LT had a combined 429 offensive touches last year, including the playoff game against New England. Are LT's 429 touches going to keep anyone from drafting him #1? Of course not. In fact, check out Tomlinson's entire career in term of offensive touches. In 2002 LT had 451 combined offensive touches and had over 2100 total yards and 15 TDs. The next year he had 413 combined touches, 2300 total yards, and 17 TDs. Not exactly a down season right? If LT can still be an elite back after multiple 400+ touch seasons, why not LJ? If anything, LJ is the perfect back to have had such a heavy season. He played three seasons at Penn State, but was only the starter for one year. He has been in the NFL for four years but has only been a starter for two and a half. Think about that. LJ only has 3.5 years of "tread" on his legs. Don't let one heavy season of work scare you away.

The O-Line: The second big point that has been made against LJ is that his offensive line has greatly declined. Let's take a look at whether or not that is actually true. Last year the Chiefs were starting LT Jordan Black, LG Brian Waters, C Wiegmann, RG Will Shields, and RT John Welbourn. The main problem with the line last year was that Willie Roaf unexpectedly retired, leaving the Chiefs to scramble to fill the LT spot. They tried Kyle Turley and a number of other options, but nothing really seemed to stick. For this year, the line had another heavy blow with the loss of Pro Bowler Will Shields, but if you look beyond the loss of Shields the line may well be improved over last season. Welbourn has moved to RG, Brian Waters and Wiegmann are still starting, Damion McIntosh is an improvement at LT. The big question mark is Chris Terry at RT. Terry has had a number of issues off the field, and is a bit of a project right now. Overall though, the line really isn't bad. LJ still had nearly 2200 total yards and 19 TDs last year after losing Roaf, and this year he might have a more stable overall line to run behind, even with the loss of Shields.

The Passing Game: This is where the going gets tough. AJ raises an excellent point in his question; if the Chiefs start Brodie Croyle there will indeed be eight guys in the box waiting to hit LJ in the mouth. Luck has smiled upon fantasy players however, as just half an hour ago Damon Huard was named the starter for the Chiefs. Hooray! Fantasy owners rejoice! Huard played extremely well last season, and the Chiefs have the same exact offensive weapons as they did last year plus the addition of first round WR Dwayne Bowe. As long as Huard is back there, LJ is safe.

So the final verdict? LJ is more than fine for this year. Personally I think it is a toss up between him and Frank Gore at the 3-4 spots, but if he is there at #4 I would snatch him up. Good luck AJ, and if anyone else has a question they would like addressed just send it in to turnoverbattle@gmail.com.

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They Say Timing Is Everything...

August 15th: Former NBA referee Tim Donaghy pleas guilty to felony charges and admits that he provided insider information about player injuries and official assignments to gamblers. Donaghy also admits that he had been betting on NBA games, including ones he had officiated, since 2003.

August 17th: Former NHL player and Phoenix Coyotes assistant Rick Tocchet is sentenced to two years probation for his involvement in an illegal gambling ring that saw millions of dollars bet on various sports.

August 22nd: AEG and Harrah's hold a press conference to announce that they are building a $500 million arena in Las Vegas set to open in 2010, with hopes of convincing an NBA and/or NHL team to come to Vegas.

Is it just me, or does the timing of this announcement seem...awful? Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think the NBA is going to go anywhere near Las Vegas for years. Not after the Donaghy scandal, and especially not after the violent debacle that was the NBA's All-Star Weekend. (We all do remember that is where Pacman's infamous strip club shooting took place, yes?)

There are three major problems in sports today; performance enhancers, athlete's bad behavior, and gambling. Vegas is known for fostering two of those three things. In fact, Vegas wouldn't even exist today if it wasn't for gambling and bad behavior. So at a time when the NBA is fighting a huge PR battle in the wake of a gambling scandal, these businessmen thought it would be a great idea to start building an arena aimed at getting an NBA team? Can I get an honorary MBA just for noting that this is an awful idea?

The NHL angle is slightly different, though just as bad. In all honesty, the NHL would likely jump at the chance to go to Vegas. Word on the street is that the NHL is attempting to expand by two more teams in the coming years, and if Vegas wants them the NHL would most likely come. The problem with that is the NHL is bleeding money. The TV ratings are almost non-existent. Attendance is down. Players are starting to leave for Russia to make more money. And somehow the NHL's solution to these problems is to expand? To dillute an already thinning talent pool? If this Vegas arena stakes itself to the NHL, it very well could go down with the ship. Hockey has already slipped to at least 4th on the American pro sports radar (behind NASCAR) and is perilously close to being overtaken by MMA with no signs of anything getting better.

Can someone please explain to me how building this $500 million arena is a good idea...at all?

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Beckham Afraid Of Sexy Women

You shouldn't hate David Beckham because he is good looking. You shouldn't hate him because he is a good soccer player. And you shouldn't hate him because he is from England. No, the real reason you, American man, should hate David Beckham is that he is sucking up all of the women that otherwise would might could theoretically be interested in you, and he doesn't even want them.

I mean, David really is living an awful life right now. Just catch this quote from an article in the Daily Star yesterday;

Sexy US fans have been throwing themselves at the former Real Madrid star ever since he arrived Stateside, leaving the 32-year-old “unnerved”, according to pals.

Trivia Question: When was the last time ou sat around with your "pals", and one of your friends said "Guys...I am at my whits end. Dozens of sexy women throw themselves at me everyday, and I can't help but feel completely unnerved."

Trivia Answer: Never.

It is fairly obvious that Beckham is afraid of good looking women coming after him. Which is precisely why he is married to a woman that looks like an anorexic robot:



So if you are a sexy woman, make sure to stay away from David Beckham because evidently you are freaking him out. So much so that he is hiring extra security after one "sexy" fan got a little too close to his hotel room in Toronto. Seriously, this is an awful life you lead David. I feel terrible for you. Getting paid millions to play what amounts to minor league soccer, while having every woman in the continental U.S. longing after you sounds like a terrible time.

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World Gone Insane

A NAACP leader said today that he felt Vick should be welcomed back into the NFL with open arms. Even more stunning, the spokesman said that the FALCONS should welcome Vick back. Listen, the only thing the Falcons are going to be associated with for the immediate future is Michael Vick. I don't care if they go 16-0, they're STILL going to be associated with Michael Vick, if only because the case has received so much publicity. If Arthur Blank openly invites Vick back to the Falcons (after Vick's done playing in the penal league), he will essentially commit public relations suicide. From there on out, until years after Vick retires, the first two things that will pop into a person's head when they hear "Atlanta Falcons" and see that red and black are "Vick" and "dogfighting."

Even more stunning, Howard Bryant of ESPN.com penned an article today completely bashing Gene Upshaw and the NFLPA for their lack of support towards Vick. Bryant argues that it is Upshaw's duty to support Vick in front of NFL commisioner Roger Goodell. Right off the bat, this is completely ridiculous. Michael Vick is going to prison for at least a year and a half, which means that his suspension is a long way off. How can someone expect Upshaw to start negotiating Vick's suspension NOW?! He hasn't even been sentenced yet! Furthermore, if a player commits certain crimes (i.e. rape, murder, dogfighting, gambling), the players' union should leave them on their own. Upshaw would simply make himself look like a fool by defending Michael Vick. A defense of Vick would only serve to create an antagonistic relationship between the NFLPA and the owners. Currently, the NFL is the only sport that has a relatively positive relationship between it's players' association and the commissioner's office. If Roger Goodell bans a player, the NFLPA accepts it, and goes on its merry way. You don't see Howard Bryant demanding that Upshaw fight for Pacman Jones, now do you?

Ever since taking office, Roger Goodell has strived to improve the NFL's image. Utilizing an iron fist, he has been overwhelmingly successful. Standing in the way of whatever suspension Goodell deems necessary would simply appear moronic. As for the nature of this suspension, it can only be a lifetime ban. If Pacman Jones, who has never technically been convicted of anything, receives a year-long suspension soon-to-be convicted felon Michael Vick should be punished with a life-long ban from the National Football League. Former MLB commissioner Bart Giamatti banned Pete Rose from baseball for gambling on the Reds. Just this summer, former NBA referee Tim Donaghy was banned from the NBA for game fixing. If gambling results in a lifetime ban from sports, so should the animal cruelty "sport" known as dogfighting.

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Worst. Draft. EVER.

Last night SportsCenter ran their highly publicized fantasy football draft special. The idea was to have some of ESPN's football analysts do a draft so that the viewing audience could garner some insight from the "experts". It sounds like a great idea, except what actually transpired was far from what was intended.

What happened last night, was perhaps the worst fantasy football draft of all time.

The panel consisted of Chris Mortenson, Jerry O'Connell, Steve Young, Mark Schlereth, Sean Salisbury, Nick Bakay, Cato June, and Michael A. Smith. Out of that group it was glaringly obvious that only Schlereth knew much of anything about fantasy football. Just take a gander at what all of their rosters ended up looking like.

The odd final rosters only tell half the story however, as the draft itself saw the participants break almost every single rule in fantasy football. They drafted QBs in the first round. They drafted kickers before the final round. They didn't go 1-2 with RBs. They valued WRs over RBs. To put it simply, any of these guys would have finished dead last in even the most average of fantasy leagues. To explain why, here is a detailed look at some of the more horriffic mistakes that were made during the draft:

Round 1:

- Sean Salisbury selects Laurence Maroney at #5. Pretty odd considering the fact that Maroney is projected by anyone with half of a brain to be somewhere in the 8-12 range, not anywhere near #5.

- Peyton Manning goes to his former teammate Cato June at #7 which isn't really that bad considering it is an 8 team league. What happened after that however, has caused me to lose any faith in Michael A. Smith's sports knowledge. Smith was picking at the turn and had picks #8 and #9. With at least 5 elite fantasy RBs still on the board, Smith took Carson Palmer and Marvin Harrison 8-9. I repeat, Michael A. Smith went QB-WR in the first two rounds, and the QB was not Peyton Manning. Michael A. Smith knows as much about fantasy football as your grandmother, and maybe less.

Round 2:

- Cato June follows Smith's moronic moves by taking Thomas Jones at #10. Jones is not a bad fantasy back, but the pick is horrendous considering the other RBs that were still available, including...

- Shaun Alexander, who is selected at #13 by Mark Schlereth. Again, I reiterate; Schlereth is the only one in this thing with any fantasy knowledge at all.

Round 3:

- To lead off the 3rd round the 17th and 18th picks are Marc Bulger and Antonio Gates. Now, those would be good picks in a 10 or 12 team draft...if they were leading off the 4th round, with picks in the 40's. I would wager that this might be the only fantasy football draft in the nation not conducted by 9 year olds that will have Bulger and Gates both go in the top 20.

- Just so they can say that they broke the rule, our group of dunces engages in a WR position run in the 3rd round with Torry Holt, Chad Johnson, Steve Smith, and Roy Williams going between picks 20 and 24.

Round 4:

- Our motley crew enjoyed having a position run in the 3rd round so much that they have another position run in the 4th round. This time it is the QBs, with Drew Brees, Jon Kitna, Tom Brady, and Donovan McNabb going in order from picks 27-30. Yes, that does in fact mean that Kitna was drafted at #28. Just awful.

Round 5:

- I am guessing that nobody informed these 8 guys that fantasy football success is almost entirely dependent on having good RBs. Evidently someone lied to them and told them that WRs were the key, as they engage in a SECOND WR position run in the 5th round, with T.J. Houshmandzadeh, Reggie Wayne, Larry Fitzgerald, Terrell Owens, Andre Johnson, and Marques Colston going in order from picks 34-39. Yes, that means that in the first 40 picks there were two WR position runs and a QB position run.

Round 6:

- Running backs? Who ever heard of drafting running backs? The awful aversion to the best position in fantasy football continues in round 6, as 7 of the 8 picks in the round are either WRs or TEs. The only sane person is Schlereth, who snatches up Clinton Portis all the way at #45.

- As for the crazy people, Michael (knows less than grandma) Smith picks up Vernon Davis with pick #41, followed by Jeremy Shockey going to Cato June with the very next pick.

- With the 45th pick Sean Salisbury takes Calvin Johnson, about 40-60 picks too soon.

Round 7:

- The position breakdown for the eight picks in round 7: 4 TEs, 2 D/ST, 2 WRs. That's right, no RBs taken between picks 49 and 56, and only one taken between picks 41-57. To understand just how bad this is, just take a gander at what happened in...

Round 8:

- So who are the RBs that are left? Julius Jones comes off the board at #58. Marshawn Lynch is picked at #62. Fred Taylor is selected at #64. It is criminal that those three lasted this long, but not nearly as bad as the fact that...

- Ronnie Brown lasts until pick #59. No, that is not a typo. That really is Ronnie Brown, at #59. The same Ronnie Brown that is being selected in the first round in some 10-12 team leagues, and the second round in every other league. The ONLY way I can explain this oversight is that the ESPN crew just forgot. It woudn't be the first time an ESPN crew forgot about a player during a draft show. Remember when Mel Kiper and company completely forgot Amobi Okoye during their mock draft show?

Round 9:

- The misses just keep on coming, as the Patriots and Chargers D/ST are selected before Ahman Green in round 9.

Round 10:

- Cato June selects Adam Vinatieri at #74. Evidently he thought that Michael A. Smith was getting too much of a lead in the "Dumbest Drafter" category and felt like he had to play catch up.

- Jamal Lewis and Jerrious Norwood finally come off the board at picks #77 and #79. Watching these "experts" do a fantasy draft is like watching a dating advice show hosted by Screech and Bill Nye the Science Guy.

Round 11:

- Round 11 sees yet another 8 picks go by without a RB being chosen, although Nick Bakay does see fit to draft Rex Grossman at #86. Yes, that sentence does mean that Rex Grossman was drafted in an 8 team fantasy league. It was the first and last time.

Round 12:

- DeAngelo Williams goes off the board at #96...finally.

Round 13:

- With all of the QBs, WRs, TEs, and D/ST that have already come off the board, you just know there is still a RB left. And...yep, there he is. Steve Young selects Carnell Williams at #99. Just to recap, a starting RB with little to no competition was drafted after 3 kickers, 5 defenses, and Rex Grossman. It is now official; ESPN's football analysts are NOT smarter than a 5th grader.

Round 14:

- Nick Bakay, the man who drafted Rex Grossman, follows up that stroke of brilliance by picking Eric Johnson with the 107th pick. If you were wondering, Johnson is a TE for the Saints.

Round 15:

- Finally, this thing is almost over. The dunces won't go down without a fight though, as they reveal their final ace when Cato June picks Chester Taylor with the second to last pick in the draft. This draft is just painful to look at.

Before you can appreciate those lowlight, you have to take a gander at some of the players that went completely undrafted during the course of this travesty;

QB:
Eli Manning
Bret Favre
Alex Smith

RB:
Brandon Jackson
Warrick Dunn
Kevin Jones
Chris Henry

WR:
Chris Chambers
Terry Glenn
Darrell Jackson
Mushin Muhammad

TE:
LJ Smith
Heath Miller

D/ST:
Vikings
Eagles
Bills

K:
Robbie Gould
Josh Scobee
Jason Elam


To understand just how bad that is, think of it this way; if you joined their league now and made a team solely of the undrafted players, you could probably still win a few games. Also, notice the fact that Drew Bennet, Santonio Holmes, and Wes Welker were all drafted, while Chambers, Glenn, Jackson, and Muhhamad were not.

So what are the lessons to be learned from this awful display of fantasy football ignorance by ESPN? First off, you should not listen to a single bit of fantasy "advice" that comes out of the mouths of an ESPN analyst. Second, ESPN does not take fantasy football seriously enough to prepare their analysts to discuss the topic. I do not exaggerate in the slightest when I say that an average high school male would have destroyed ESPN's paid "experts" in this draft. Third, don't listen to anything that Michael A. Smith has to say about NFL football. You'd be better off asking your grandma about it.

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Hayden's Sporty Birthday Bash

August 21st. One of the last days of summer. Kids are going back to school. The baseball pennant chases are heating up. The football season is just around the corner. All in all, it is a wonderful time of year.

This particular August 21st however, is extra wonderful. Why you might ask? Well today is a day that only happens once in a lifetime; it is Hayden Panettiere's 18th birthday. It is a glorious day, as all of the men of America can now officially watch Heroes without being sketchy. To celebrate Hayden's birthday, we would like to remind you that Hayden's career thus far has been oddly sports centric. How so? Just take a look back at some of the roles she has played thus far:


Sheryl Yoast, Remember The Titans: In Hayden's first major motion picture role she played the football obsessed daughter of T.C. Williams football coach Bill Yoast. This film was by far the best of the films on this list, and would begin a sports centered trend that continued when Hayden played...



Channing Walsh, Racing Stripes: I'll let IMDB tell you what this movie was about;

An abandoned zebra (voice of Frankie Muniz) grows up believing he is a racehorse, and, with the help of his barnyard friends and a teenage girl (Hayden Panettiere), sets out to achieve his dream of racing with thoroughbreds.

I can assure you that this film signified the first and last time Hayden ever rode Frankie Muniz. Horse racing brings the Hayden sport total to 2 and she wasn't done yet, moving on to yet another sport in her role as...



Gen Harwood, Ice Princess: I honestly do not understand how I missed this movie. No, I am not an ice skating fan, but I don't think I have missed many films that have boasted as stout a trio of femmes as Hayden, Michelle Trachtenberg, and Kim Cattrall. I thought ice skating was supposed to be cold.



Britney Allen, Bring It On: All Or Nothing: This movie was about cheerleading. I guess. I actually haven't seen it, but that is mainly because I already saw all of the important parts of the movie in this clip:

My guess is that it is all downhill from that point.



Claire Bennet, Heroes: Hayden had such a good time playing a cheerleader in Bring It On that she decided to keep at it, this time playing a cheerleader with superhuman healing powers. Now that Hayden is on Heroes every week you don't even have to go to Target and buy Bring It On off the clearance rack to see Hayden in all her skirted glory.



Hayden, Water Sport Queen: Well, this isn't actually a movie but...I guess it adds swimming to Hayden's sports portfolio, along with football, horse racing, ice skating, and cheerleading. Hopefully Hayden continues her sports career arc, which could mean future roles for Hayden in other sports themed movies. Like maybe one about tennis. Or better yet, beach volleyball.

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Fantasy Football Cheat Sheet: Bye, Bye

Fantasy football is a fickle mistress. Every year the landscape changes, and the difference between first place and last place in your league depends on how you react to the changing climate. As a helper, Fantasy Football Cheat Sheet will guide you through some of the finer points of fantasy this year. Have a question or topic about fantasy football you'd like to see addressed? Send it to turnoverbattle@gmail.com

Bye week. Next to "injury report", those two words are perhaps the most important for fantasy owners to pay attention to during the season. A fantastic team can be crippled by not paying attention to a bye week, and if you are not able to react quickly or well enough your QB or #1 RB's bye week can lead to a loss to an inferior fantasy squad. Most players are very careful about observing their RBs bye weeks when drafting, so that they never have more than one starter out at a time. What might be worse than having your two RBs out at the same time however, is having your QB and your top RB out the same week. If that happens, you can almost automatically chalk up a loss for the week.

To help avoid such a problem, I have compiled a list of the starting RBs that have a bye week the same week as each of the top 10 fantasy QBs:

Peyton Manning: Willie Parker, Frank Gore, Travis Henry (Marshawn Lynch, Tatum Bell)

Carson Palmer: Brian Westbrook (Chester Taylor/Adrian Peterson, LaMont Jordan/Dominic Rhodes)

Drew Brees: Maurice Jones-Drew, Clinton Portis (White/Henry/Brown, Fred Taylor, Ladell Betts)

Tom Brady: Ahman Green, Thomas Jones, Carnell Williams

Marc Bulger: Cedric Benson, Ronnie Brown, Brandon Jacobs

Donovan McNabb: Rudi Johnson (Chester Taylor/Adrian Peterson, LaMont Jordan/Dominic Rhodes)

Matt Hasselbeck: Larry Johnson, Willis McGahee, Edgerrin James, Jerrious Norwood (Julius Jones/Marion Barber)

Vince Young: Maurice Jones-Drew, Clinton Portis, Reggie Bush, Deuce McCallister (Fred Taylor, Ladell Betts)

Philip Rivers: Jamal Lewis (Brandon Jackson/Vernand Morency, DeShaun Foster/DeAngelo Williams)

Jon Kitna: Wilie Parker, Frank Gore, Travis Henry, Joseph Addai (Marshawn Lynch, Tatum Bell)

Two players from this list jump out as me as problems; Peyton Manning and Vince Young.

Peyton: If you have Peyton Manning this year, the likelihood is that you selected him somewhere in the frist round. If so, you are already a little bit behind when it comes to the RB derby, as every single one of your opponents is likely to have a top ten RB while you are left with the scraps. Now take a look at the RBs that have the same bye week as Peyton. Were you thinking about getting Willie Parker at the top of the second round? Forget it. Travis Henry? Same. Marshawn Lynch in the 3rd or 4th round? Nix that idea too. Although Peyton will certainly give you big numbers this year, just remember that his bye week is likely to give you a headache both then, and during your draft.

Vince: Nevermind the fact that I don't think Vince is a good choice as your starting QB. Lets say you do pick him. Take a gander at the bevy of top 20 RBs that are going to be out the same week as Vince; Maurice Jones-Drew, Clinton Portis, Reggie Bush, Deuce McCallister. Youch. If you take Vince as your starter, make sure to pay special attention to the composition of your RB depth chart, or you could find yourself hurting come Week 4.


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Fantasy Football Cheat Sheet: The Good News Injury

Fantasy football is a fickle mistress. Every year the landscape changes, and the difference between first place and last place in your league depends on how you react to the changing climate. As a helper, Fantasy Football Cheat Sheet will guide you through some of the finer points of fantasy this year. Have a question or topic about fantasy football you'd like to see addressed? Send it to turnoverbattle@gmail.com

This weekend Travis Henry of the Broncos sprained the MCL in his left knee. What this likely means from a fantasy perspective is that Henry will see a decline on draft boards.

This is great news.

How so? First off you need to realize that Henry is already being undervalued in most fantasy drafts. Henry is rated as the #14 RB by ESPN and #13 by Yahoo. As of right now, all it takes to get Henry is a late 2nd round or early 3rd round pick. History would say that he will be much more valuable than such a pick. Henry's move to the Broncos has been much discussed in fantasy circles, but few people realize just how signifigant the move is for Henry's production. To illustrate, here are some average numbers from the Broncos rushing attack over the past five seasons:

Average Yards Per Rush: 4.72

Average Carries For Feature Back: 262

Average TDs For High TD Back: 12

Now lets say that Henry just has an "average" season for a Broncos feature back based on those numbers. Based on those numbers Henry would have roughly 1,230 yards and 12 TDs, which would be good for 195 fantasy points. That total does not even take into account any points for receiving yards, yet last season it would have been good for 9th best among running backs. The scary thing is that Henry is in fact a pretty good receiver out of the backfield, having had career highs of 43 receptions and 309 yards in 2002. For his career Henry has averaged 11.5 receiving yards per game, which over a full season would translate into 184 yards. Now add those 18 points to Henry's total and he would be at 213 fantasy points. Again, these numbers reflect what Henry's numbers would look like if he has an average season for a Broncos RB.

What this all translates into is that Henry will likely have a season worthy of a lower end #1 fantasy RB if he just has an average season. If he excells in the Broncos system, he could become a middle to upper level fantasy #1. Yet he is routinely available in the late 2nd and early 3rd rounds of fantasy drafts, and with his injury scared fantasy owners now have an excuse to drop him even lower. Don't be fooled; snapping up Travis Henry could be both a great value and the key to a great fantasy season, so be thankful that his injury will scare enough people off so you can pick him.

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